Am I alone...

As long as I can remember I've always felt that I was different than every one else. My attitude toward life, my beliefs, my morals and my entire way of being. No matter how much someone believes they know me, they never really do. I'm not trying to act like I'm an intellectual genious that is superior to everyone around me. I'm just saying that my mind works is such a different way that even the most perceptive people will never be able to grasp what I am and how I think.

When I was younger I would display this difference more regularly. I can't even remember all the ways that I tried to stand out from everyone else. Those of you who have known me for a long time can remember the nail polish, different hair colors, sticking pins in through my skin, blue suede shoes, the skate pants, high socks and shorts, etc. Anything to set me apart from everyone else. These days I can't display my individuality as much as I would like. Conforming to social standard seems to be a necessary evil of keeping a career.

Sure I may speak differently, act differently or even have some manorizisms that others question. To answer this damn question for the last time....no...I'm not gay, never been gay, and never will be gay....I LOVE women way too much. My true friends know that without a doubt. I think the majority of males in this world have some deep seeded fear of gay men. I don't have a single ounce of prejudice in me and I accept everyone for whatever they want. Which is why I don't ever pass judgement on anyone that is undo.

I've made a comment before about how I wonder if people would still be friends if they could hear each others thoughts. In my estimation, most people wouldn't be. The majority of friends say one thing to each other and in their heads think the worst of them. Just a word of advice for those who don't want to live in vain. If you think badly of someone, you're not their friend if you don't voice your opinion. I'm not friends with anyone that I can't tell how I feel. If there are any people that consider theirselves my friends who secretly think badly of me.....do me a favor and stop talking to me now instead of when I finally get wind of what you really think.

I guess the whole point of this rant is to say that people need to be who they really want to be, say exactly what they mean, and live life truthfully on every level.

Peace...

Murphy